The recording begins,
“This is ‘My Advocate’…”

Were I to choose to accept the call I’d like to interject,
“Whadda ya want now? I’m not in the mood!”

So I consider it best I just disconnect…


Bob’s Christmas poem -by Robert Gardner

Oh, let me please
Forever be
A kind of human Christmas tree,
A tree you might securely strap
To your Uncle’s old and twisted back
(Now force him to walk
Down a railroad track
At the end of the gun
You bought just for fun.)

Oh, let me please
Forever be
A reasonable facsimile
Of a tree who doesn’t seem to care
You dragged him roughly by the hair
To the very top of the attic stair
o joys he cannot hope to share –
A tree whose feet
Prefer the sleet
To the warmth of a luxury office suite
Owned by a lawyer indicted for fraud,
Or a county judge who thinks he’s God.